Beautiful! Thank you so much for this. The deep intrinsic truth of renunciation in it purest form. This was wisdom on a deep level, my friend. I see you, and am honored to have read your words. Keep walking in the way.
Remember, "Suffering is a feeling of discontent brought about by your ego's desire for a situation to be different."
The closest observation I had is of loved ones standing around a casket weeping. Nothing near the level of emotion seen in movies or news tragedies.
I observed this as a small child, who found the process long and boring. So much so that the funeral director led us youngsters into an adjacent room where we could play and release our pent-up energy.
I would have had to see plenty of people in a heap on the floor to believe this was normal.
I was using that term more metaphorically than anything. The truth is that those that do fall into a heap on the floor often do it in a more private setting than a public setting.
This brings to mind the visuals that I've seen come through my screen of people in other cultures wailing publicly - often in a heap on the floor - at a funeral service. It's interesting to bear witness to that blatant and often noisy release that's often so common there but not in our culture.
We often judge that as a bit less "civilized" or out of control, but is it really? What if letting it ALL out in a wailing release like that is actually cathartic in a way that our culture can't necessarily understand.
Simply some thoughts that run through me as I observe humans in their natural - or sometimes unnatural - habitats.
It makes me feel joy to read this. I believe this is how some ancient cultures related to death, before we got overtaken by religious programming and fear.
It's amazing how deep the programming is because I almost feel I should say something like "I'm sorry for your loss", but I won't. I'm grateful that you feel the transcendence of the experience and the eternity of spirit and that you're doing well. And that you had/have such a beautiful relationship with him.
I love the line: "I’m not in here; I’m everywhere."
This makes me so happy. Thank you for seeing me and acknowledging where I am at this time. 💝
I agree with what you say about ancient cultures - and even current cultures - having a different perspective around death. I've read about some of these differences over the years and I have no doubt that they've influenced me in ways that I can't even remember.
I would add that it's not only religious programming and fear, but also the way the culture imbues us with these attitudes which is often related to marketing and someone capitalizing off of our vulnerability and often guilt.
There has been many a person who has paid much more for a casket or burial service because they weren't in right relationship with their loved one. It's a last ditch effort to try to put some salve on something that feels raw when there will never be another chance to engage that person for a do-over.
But that itself is also not fully true. While that person may not be here anymore to try to understand and heal with, healing is an inside job and with come practiced attention and intention, it can be healed without the presence of the other.
Thank you for taking the time to share, sister. It is much appreciated. 😊
I am actually just now learning how to grief properly and taking classes here on there on free workshops but I'm so glad I found sub stack hopefully I can cope a little better and open my mind to new ways on other coping mechanisms or anything related to grief and loss it seems like that's all I know and it sure has had me down some dark roads and felt so lonely at times my mom's about my only support system I have but she is enough she goes above and beyond and puts me first in her life which is not fair to her it's almost sickening to a fault where it's codependency so I not only have to learn how to live a new life on my own but without my fiance and do this for myself by myself. It's just overwhelming cuz I really don't know where to start or begin because I'm also on my spiritual lightning path so I pick up everybody else's emotions and energy and vibes now so it just gets really confusing and hard a lot of days thankfully on here I find like-minded people and a lot of things on a lining myself mentally spiritually and emotionally and physically so hopefully I can make sense of all this and being alignment into a higher consciousness sooner than later
That's about all you can do, isn't it? Sounds like you've got yourself pointed in a good direction. You've got awareness around the dynamic with your mother that you can keep working with. Without that awareness, you can't grow yourself.
That spiritaul lightning path can be confusing for sure. It's like hold on and let go at the same time. lol The likemindeds really can be helpful in showing us that we're not as crazy as we think we are...or maybe we are. 🤷♀️🤪
Once you work through some the grief of all the losses combined with untying some of the dynamics of these inner knots, you'll probably find a smoother path waiting for you, but it can take some time. I think you've got this though...even when you think you don't.
Holding space for you, sister. You are invited and welcome to hang here with the lovely souls here who I believe are some of your likemindeds. ☺️
I'm so happy that this resonated with you in a good way. I am humbled and honored by your words.
This is so very true. "Suffering is a feeling of discontent brought about by your ego's desire for a situation to be different." It is the inner resistance of the ego sitting in resistance, non-acceptance, and struggle trying to force it to be something different, isn't it?
I think we have a mutual admiration society here, my friend. So happy that we've met on this path and I look forward to the unfolding of getting to know you better.
Beautiful! Thank you so much for this. The deep intrinsic truth of renunciation in it purest form. This was wisdom on a deep level, my friend. I see you, and am honored to have read your words. Keep walking in the way.
Remember, "Suffering is a feeling of discontent brought about by your ego's desire for a situation to be different."
Stay entangled always, my friend.
Steven — TbG
*Why am I not in a heap on the floor?*
The closest observation I had is of loved ones standing around a casket weeping. Nothing near the level of emotion seen in movies or news tragedies.
I observed this as a small child, who found the process long and boring. So much so that the funeral director led us youngsters into an adjacent room where we could play and release our pent-up energy.
I would have had to see plenty of people in a heap on the floor to believe this was normal.
I was using that term more metaphorically than anything. The truth is that those that do fall into a heap on the floor often do it in a more private setting than a public setting.
This brings to mind the visuals that I've seen come through my screen of people in other cultures wailing publicly - often in a heap on the floor - at a funeral service. It's interesting to bear witness to that blatant and often noisy release that's often so common there but not in our culture.
We often judge that as a bit less "civilized" or out of control, but is it really? What if letting it ALL out in a wailing release like that is actually cathartic in a way that our culture can't necessarily understand.
Simply some thoughts that run through me as I observe humans in their natural - or sometimes unnatural - habitats.
It makes me feel joy to read this. I believe this is how some ancient cultures related to death, before we got overtaken by religious programming and fear.
It's amazing how deep the programming is because I almost feel I should say something like "I'm sorry for your loss", but I won't. I'm grateful that you feel the transcendence of the experience and the eternity of spirit and that you're doing well. And that you had/have such a beautiful relationship with him.
I love the line: "I’m not in here; I’m everywhere."
This makes me so happy. Thank you for seeing me and acknowledging where I am at this time. 💝
I agree with what you say about ancient cultures - and even current cultures - having a different perspective around death. I've read about some of these differences over the years and I have no doubt that they've influenced me in ways that I can't even remember.
I would add that it's not only religious programming and fear, but also the way the culture imbues us with these attitudes which is often related to marketing and someone capitalizing off of our vulnerability and often guilt.
There has been many a person who has paid much more for a casket or burial service because they weren't in right relationship with their loved one. It's a last ditch effort to try to put some salve on something that feels raw when there will never be another chance to engage that person for a do-over.
But that itself is also not fully true. While that person may not be here anymore to try to understand and heal with, healing is an inside job and with come practiced attention and intention, it can be healed without the presence of the other.
Thank you for taking the time to share, sister. It is much appreciated. 😊
LOve this & thanks for sharing your experience as I am trying to embrace this process similar to yours ❣️ 🙏🤞🫶❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing. Are you in the active phase of losing someone or processing post transition?
I sure aM.. 0Nce again
Yes I just lost my fiance a year ago lost my sister a few years ago and lost my dad back in 2000 so that's all I know is loss
Oh, sweet sister. That is so much loss! I'm so very sorry to hear that. A fiance and a sister so close together. That's heartbreaking! 💔
How do you cope with that? I hope you have a good support system.
Holding space for you, my friend. 🙏
I am actually just now learning how to grief properly and taking classes here on there on free workshops but I'm so glad I found sub stack hopefully I can cope a little better and open my mind to new ways on other coping mechanisms or anything related to grief and loss it seems like that's all I know and it sure has had me down some dark roads and felt so lonely at times my mom's about my only support system I have but she is enough she goes above and beyond and puts me first in her life which is not fair to her it's almost sickening to a fault where it's codependency so I not only have to learn how to live a new life on my own but without my fiance and do this for myself by myself. It's just overwhelming cuz I really don't know where to start or begin because I'm also on my spiritual lightning path so I pick up everybody else's emotions and energy and vibes now so it just gets really confusing and hard a lot of days thankfully on here I find like-minded people and a lot of things on a lining myself mentally spiritually and emotionally and physically so hopefully I can make sense of all this and being alignment into a higher consciousness sooner than later
That's about all you can do, isn't it? Sounds like you've got yourself pointed in a good direction. You've got awareness around the dynamic with your mother that you can keep working with. Without that awareness, you can't grow yourself.
That spiritaul lightning path can be confusing for sure. It's like hold on and let go at the same time. lol The likemindeds really can be helpful in showing us that we're not as crazy as we think we are...or maybe we are. 🤷♀️🤪
Once you work through some the grief of all the losses combined with untying some of the dynamics of these inner knots, you'll probably find a smoother path waiting for you, but it can take some time. I think you've got this though...even when you think you don't.
Holding space for you, sister. You are invited and welcome to hang here with the lovely souls here who I believe are some of your likemindeds. ☺️
I'm so happy that this resonated with you in a good way. I am humbled and honored by your words.
This is so very true. "Suffering is a feeling of discontent brought about by your ego's desire for a situation to be different." It is the inner resistance of the ego sitting in resistance, non-acceptance, and struggle trying to force it to be something different, isn't it?
I think we have a mutual admiration society here, my friend. So happy that we've met on this path and I look forward to the unfolding of getting to know you better.
Blessings.
✨🌞✨