Peaceful Warriors of the Grey Zone Arise: Writing and Fighting for Nuance Over Division
Introspective musings from a grey girl living in a black-and-white world
Story-at-a-glance:
This essay explores the transformative power of introspection and nuance as antidotes to the divisive black-and-white thinking that has dominated in recent years. Through personal reflection and a call to embrace the "grey zone," it invites readers to step out of entrenched mindsets to foster deeper understanding, connection, and personal growth.
Someone recently shared on Substack why they write and what motivates them to do so which got me thinking about why I want need to write. So, I thought it might be nice to enter the new year sharing why I Substack highlighting the places that I write from.
My goal for the new year is to continue writing from a conscious place of balance, nuance, and introspection. It seems that many people today don’t seem to understand the deeper value of these concepts, nor why they’re so needed for personal peace, collective unity, and the transformation of systems.
Originally, I started writing because My Words Ghosted Me which tells the whole story that some of you might relate to during the pandemic years. Thoughts, feelings, and confusions kept building up in me after my words went on an unannounced hiatus which felt like an uncomfortable pressure was building up annoying me from the inside. It was miserable but I went with the flow. What else could I do?
In April 2024, after two years of being wordless, I went on a 10 day walk-about with my dad to Texas to view the eclipse in totality. After that, I felt a palpable internal shift and my words made a sudden reappearance which was quite a surprise. I don’t know exactly what happened, but something opened up in me in a new way. I could actually “feel” what I wanted to say again. There was so much bubbling up in me that I knew I needed to start a blog.
So here we are.
While sitting in the shadow of contemplation from the sharing of the Substack writer as to why they write, I came to a bit more clarity about why I write that I’d like to share with you.
Release
I write to explore my thoughts and feelings around a variety of topics for my own clarity and expression to get that energy out of me. It’s my release.
My secret simultaneous hope is that my writings might also provoke or inspire more nuanced thought in others who are also trying to figure out these chaotic, rapidly- changing times.
My intention is to step outside of the more curated and manipulated narratives of the day into my own custom version of what life is and what’s going on so I can better choose how to walk through it.
I know. The audacity of actually thinking outside the box! It’s amazing how many people get angry because I weave across the aisle instead of “picking a team”. I don’t do so because neither of the teams have it ALL right. They’re both mirror images of each other in the reindeer games that they play. Same issues, different manipulating perspectives.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there isn’t right or wrong. I simply believe that the lines are blurred between the two more than most of us are comfortable considering because that would require time and presence that most of us don’t have or don’t seem willing to give.
Nuance - our ticket out of the trenches
My belief is that nuanced thought and conversation is the ticket out of these trenches of division where we can stand on higher ground with more flexible viewpoints and clearer vision as to how the world works, as well as how it might work moving forward.
My attempt is to keep an open mind removing my own blinders while surrendering my misunderstandings and mistaken truths as often as possible. I want to be the best version of myself that I can because I know that a rising tide raises all ships.
My attempt is to raise my own tide or in more woo-woo terms raise my personal vibration. I believe that this in turn and by default gives others permission to raise their own vibration in ways that feel right and good to them while standing outside of well-worn stories of who and how we’re told that we’re supposed to be.
I deeply value curiosity that considers circumstances outside the pre-manufactured boxes that we’re offered up by the media and “experts” so readily. For me, it’s a constant, diligent exercise of checking in with myself throwing off the invisible shackles that bind my mind for a stronger sense of personal freedom and agency.
My goal is to create a path to walk that smacks of me being a sovereign, creative being walking in truth and courage while being flexible of mind and heart when I encounter new information and experiences that might form and evolve me in new ways.
I’m not afraid of change.
Nuanced thinking is so important and reduces friction between contrary opinions.
If you’re interested in learning about how to consider things in more nuanced ways, here’s an article with tips to get you started.
Bridging the gaps
My goal is to inspire a deeper understanding of complex issues by encouraging others, myself included, to seek information from a wide range of perspectives, truly thinking about these issues, and, for me personally, "feeling" them as well.
My work is driven by a deep passion to bridge gaps between opposing viewpoints. This means questioning my own assumptions and challenging the status quo within myself before reacting to or criticizing others who may hold different opinions.
I’ll do me and you do you.
My way has always been to check myself for whatever I see in others that I don’t like about them to rectify what might not be right and balanced within me. I strongly believe in removing the log out of my own eye before trying to remove the splinter from the eye of another. This simply means that I check myself first before projecting onto others.
This is emotionally mature accountability. We need more of that and less ego because generally it’s the ego which causes us to dig our heels in deeper even when we’ve been proven wrong. That is cognitive dissonance and there’s definitely a surplus of that these days which is setting us sideways.
The ego disdains being wrong and often, the more fearful we are and the more fragile we feel, the more important it is for us to be right so as not to feel even more vulnerable. Knowing this allows me to more easily place my ego in the back seat so I can be the driver of my own vehicle.
Authenticity
Being genuine means a lot to me. Living both with authenticity, as well as engaging with others who are authentic, deepens the peace and ease in my life. It makes it richer.
I am naturally stoic and strive for honesty and integrity. I try to be who I am as genuinely as possible while also trying to be aware of where I’m missing the mark in an attempt to “walk my talk” so my words and actions better align. This is where peace resides, at least for me because the saying and not the doing create a tension in me that becomes highly uncomfortable.
When I was a child, if I did something wrong and no adult found out about it, eventually I’d have to tell on myself just to release that tension. I guess I’m wired with a conscience that way. Just call me Jiminy Cricket.
Creating safe space
I strive to weave all of these values into my writing to create spaces where difficult or polarizing topics can be explored through respectful nuanced exchange. I’m looking to connect with those who align with my intention of creating and nurturing safe spaces for people to engage in civil ways.
We’re messy humans with our curious imperfections and misunderstandings. We should know, and more easily admit, that we’re not right all of the time. We should attempt to stay open to considering and accepting new information, especially when it challenges long-standing beliefs.
That last sentence is imperative in the times we are living in because much of what we’ve been told, sometimes for generations, is now proving not to be true anymore…if it ever was. I know it’s hard, but it’s necessary for us moving forward.
I don’t write just for myself, but also to inform. I write to engage and to spark dialogue of a different sort. Whether I’m delving into personal growth, societal dynamics, or political concerns, my aim is to connect with readers in a way that encourages introspective reflection and open-mindedness.
My hope is that my focus on themes like freedom, nuance, honesty, and taking the "higher road" reflects my commitment to transformation - yours, mine, and ours collectively - because much of what we’re doing isn’t working anymore.
Accepting the things that I cannot change
Even though I’m a spiritual woman who isn’t “religious”, I try to live the serenity prayer pretty much by controlling my energy about being angry at another’s opposing point of view because…
I CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
No matter how much I’d love to, I can’t force another adult to do what I want them to do. So, I release the need to try coerce them into believing MY way which dissolves stress and aggravation within me. This doesn’t mean that I can’t have a conversation with them -if they’re open to it- but they are allowed to be exactly who and where they are without expectation from me…and I expect the same respect in return. Trying to argue them into submission rarely works.
We are adults and if I want the freedom to be and say what I want then I have to offer others the same courtesy…no matter how much I’m afraid of how they think or believe.
When we create that one boundary within ourselves, so many of the social media opinions and aggravations fall away. This concept alone can remove 85% of the aggravated energy that most feel on social media, if we’ll simply learn to master the concept. It’s an art that can definitely be learned. I’m an example of that.
What’s left with that boundary in place?
Inner space with more peace and ease.
These are the tenets that underpin my intention for writing, all while trying to release some of the steam out of my own pressure cooker of a mind so as not to get hooked and reeled in by the narratives that hijack my consciousness spinning negative tales of my weakness and victimhood, for I don’t believe that I…nor you…are either one of those things
It’s time to remember and reclaim our personal power.
At the heart of it all, I write because I care deeply about truth, fairness, and the well-being of others, all residing under the intentional umbrella of doing my part in trying to make the world a better place. I hope to contribute to - and inspire - a more thoughtful, balanced, and compassionate world through my words and actions.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
The antidote of introspection and personal accountability
In my personal process, introspection and a sense of personality accountability are essential to my sense of balance and well-being. They’re also important out in the world, but many people don’t understand how crucial they are for us to move out of these cultural battlegrounds in order to ban together to get important, necessary things done to improve the human condition.
Many seem to spend far too much of their time projecting onto others with nary a thought about checking themselves first to see if they have a similar version of what they’re projecting onto others. Maybe it’s not the exact same shade or color, but they have it nonetheless.
There’s a phrase, “If you spot it, you’ve got it.” Sometimes it’s true, but I don’t fully agree with that because sometimes you can spot it because you had it. Experience is a good teacher.
Once we learn to check ourselves then the next step is to take accountability for what we see and if it’s not pretty, do something about it. That’s usually the most difficult part because ego causes us not to want to admit that we’re wrong or say we’re sorry.
Paying attention to both of these things could change the world overnight because there’d be far less bashing and many more bridges of understanding.
This goes a long way when considering politics which is one of our largest identity strongholds.
Building political bridges
Regardless of what our politics are, I believe we need more bridge builders. I also believe that we need to engage in more good faith conversations across ideological spectrums.
Our screens are causing separations between us. We are being manipulated for the personal gain of others. Once we see how broad and deep this manipulation goes, it gets really hard not to see it.
We need to be as politically skeptical about our side as we are about their side. Once you reach a point of not being emotionally triggered, you’ve begun walking on the bridge that you’ve built while you’re still building it.
Now, this doesn’t mean that both sides are equal. It simply means that both teams jack us around equally and it’s time for us to realize that instead of fighting with one another.
“Divide and conquer” is a very effective strategy…until it isn’t…once we refuse to fall for it any longer.
This is where personal empowerment comes in.
Of top importance is coming more from a place of reflective and introspective self-knowledge with the intention of being accountable, along with not automatically assuming the worst about others we don’t agree with.
Next is about being more curious and less judgmental about those we disagree with. How do we do that? By asking more questions instead of making negative assumptions.
How often do you make positive assumptions about them or give them the benefit of the doubt? If rarely or never, there’s an imbalance there should probably be looked at.
Finally, we need to seek out people and publications that encourage more of these kinds of interactions, especially when we’re not quite sure how to go about it ourselves. Sometimes we simply need to see a model of it in action.
A positive publication for change
One of those publications is from Starts with Us called Builders which is “a movement to foster curiosity, compassion, and courage through our daily habits — as antidotes to polarization, tribalism, and dehumanization.”
I consider myself a builder.
This week, Starts with Us highlighted the importance of introspection and the power that lies within it:
”Insulting and divisive behaviors by political leaders will only be successful if there is sufficient support for those behaviors by enough of the public.
This can help us see that we all play a role in making our culture either more toxic — or less toxic. The interactions that millions of us have across the country, every day, is what helps form the broader political culture.
We may not be as influential as a leader or celebrity or journalist, but all together, we exert a lot of power.”
I’m just a writer on Substack with a small following but that last concept is where I try my best to reside.
You can read more on that Builders topic here.
Their article ends with this thought:
”As we start this year, let’s commit to improving both our inner world and the outer world. Let’s all commit to creating more positive ripples — and, when we see the chance, larger waves, too.”
Will you join me in this intention?
Ready to surf the positive waves that WE create together?
Step into the Grey Zone
As we move into this new year, I’d like to encourage you to step out of the black-and-white trenches to embrace the grey zone. Reflect on your own assumptions asking more questions for clarity while engaging with curiosity rather than judgment.
The world doesn’t need more certainty—it needs more willingness to explore and understand.
Community Reflections
When was the last time you paused to question your own assumptions or beliefs? What did you discover about yourself in that process?
What does 'stepping into the grey' look like for you?
Feel free to share in the comments below.
Great stuff, Mindshift. I am loving the content. Keep it up, it is so good to see. Thanks for spreading love and compassion in a world that is in desperate need of it.
Stay entangled, my friend.
—The Bathrobe Guy
Loved this and share the same sentiments ❤️❤️❤️❤️