Voting in the Upside-Down: Part 2
Wrestling with my personal confusions about what's going on in politics lately and how to vote in the midst of this madness
(Voiceover reading of essay. I’d recommend listening while you read so you can hear the inflection in my voice for better understanding of my words. On a computer, you can speed it up.)
Story-at-a-glance:
Wrestling with Fear and Complexity: Writing this has been difficult due to personal confusion and the toxic political climate, but there’s an effort to remain honest without fear of judgment. This is about ME and MY process that I’m taking a chance to share with you.
Disillusionment with Political Parties: There’s disillusionment with RFK Jr. and Tulsi Gabbard endorsing Trump after being pushed out by their party, along with questions about their trust in him.
Concerns on Both Sides: Concerns are shared equally about the Democratic stance on censorship and medical freedom, and the Republican stance on women’s rights and Trump’s narcissism, leaving a feeling of being caught between two unappealing options.
Can I start out by saying how much I resent this political situation we’ve evolved into in the U.S.? Sheesh!
This has been challenging
Writing transparently about politics in today’s polarized climate is tough, especially when I see others get flamed for saying the most benign things because people are emotionally super-charged and see what they want to see instead of sitting with the writers perspective to try to understand what they’re conveying. But I thought I’d take a chance in case some of you were also struggling with the same challenge. I know. I’m not quite right in the head.
The toxic political climate—even among friends—makes expressing myself feel risky, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take and it’s been challenging and has taken more words than usual.
Hopefully, you’re not here to judge me to decide whether I’m one of “you” or one of “them”. If you are, I think that’s a shame, if you’re doing it to judge me as “worthy” or not.
Sound familiar?
“Naturally the common people don’t want war. But after all, it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, for exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.”
Nazi Hermann Goering, 1946
For starters, if you missed Part 1 of this two part series, you can read it here because you’re jumping in halfway through.
I’m not here to judge or pick a side but to explore where MY beliefs align, diverge, and why that matters in these uncertain times. You’re welcome to be a neutral voyeur to my process.
My main concerns
I’m wrestling with three key concerns: Kennedy and Tulsi’s surprising endorsements of Trump, my mixed feelings about both political parties, and the challenges of maintaining free speech in an increasingly hostile environment when the government is entrenched with social media companies “suggesting” what they should be doing with those who aren’t quite aligned with the government narrative.
At the same time, I find myself in conflict with the Republican stance on women’s rights and Trump’s unpredictability, while also feeling disillusioned with the Democrats’ approach to censorship, medical freedom, and freedom of speech.
These issues have left me feeling caught between two unappealing options and uncertain about where I truly stand.
Whaaat??
RFK Jr. and Tulsi Gabbard endorsing Trump still has me reeling with questions. Their decisions reflect a broader frustration with so many of us with both parties, and I can’t help but question their trust in Trump’s promises.
Trump Enters Kennedy’s Picture
In my Substack My Words Ghosted Me, I shared that I’m neither a Trump fan nor a hater—that’s just not my way.
I’ve known about Trump since the 1980s (yes, I’m that old), long before his presidency or The Apprentice. Decades ago, I read books about him and more recently, even watched The Apprentice—not for him, but for what I learned about business. So I’m no stranger to him.
When Trump ran for president, I already knew enough about his narcissistic tendencies to decide he wasn’t someone I could ever vote for because, with narcissists, it’s always about them. We need a president that runs the country for ALL the people, more than himself.
Kennedy endorses Trump
(If you didn’t read part one of this Substack, I encourage you to listen to or read the transcript of Kennedy’s speech to understand the context. If you listen, you can speed it up and his voice evens out more.)
It’s my understanding that RFK Jr. approached Kamala’s camp to work with them, but they denied him and I understand parts of that.
In his endorsement, Kennedy said that Trump is the only candidate willing to tackle the chronic disease epidemic, protect free speech, and push back against corporate influence and neoconservative military agendas.
He also slammed the Democrats for being “the party of war, censorship, corruption, and big money,” claiming that his own campaign was sabotaged by the democratic party through media and social media censorship. I watched the latter happen and I know it’s true.
The issues he mentions are deeply important to me. I don’t feel that Kamala will do much of anything about them and will follow the same ole formula that the democrats have been following which I haven’t been in alignment with, even though I’m liberal.
Tulsi follows suit
I haven’t followed Tulsi much, but from what I’ve seen over time, she’s a straight talker and calls out the BS. The truth is that the democrats turned me on her way back in 2019 when she was a democrat running for president.
Why? Probably because she spoke out about what she was noticing political entrenchment, corruption etc. I kept seeing that she might be a Russian asset on the liberal media channels. I don’t believe that now and chalk it up to being a lesson as to how easily we can be swayed by “our side”.
Are RFK Jr. and Tulsi naive?
Now, do I think that RFK and Tulsi are being naive about what Trump says that he’ll do? Absolutely. I’ve seen Trump talk about the “greatest, best people” and as soon as they disagree with him or have their own mind, he dumps them, throws them under the bus, and starts trolling them.
No hate here
Personally, Trump wouldn’t be my choice, but I don’t hate his voters. That’s not my way.
I have friends across the political spectrum—from social justice warriors to ultra-conservative Christians. I understand some republicans frustrations and fears about feeling left behind, even if I don’t agree with their choice of candidate.
I think it’s important to separate Trump from those who support him, even if many people might disagree with me. Remember, not everyone who votes for him is a fan; many see him as the lesser evil in the same way some Harris voters consider her the same.
Whack jobs everywhere
Many have seen clips of unsavory Trump voters and judge them ALL that way; same with the other side. This reminds me of conservatives who have only been exposed to videos of gay pride parades and they think that’s what ALL LGBTQ+ people are. We need to get out of these bubbles to find out what’s actually true.
When you’ve only seen it on television through a carefully curated lens, sometimes you don’t actually know what you don’t know…but you think that you do. This understanding keeps me from judging people harshly. One can always find whack jobs across the spectrum of parties that the other side’s media is willing to highlight and take pot shots at.
Some of “those people”
The video below is quite interesting. “Elliott County, Kentucky voted for Democrats for 144 years straight. Then, the county flipped to Trump…while simultaneously voting for Democratic Governor Andy Beshear. So what does this county have to tell us about this political moment?”
“No wonder dissenting politicians like Jeff Flake or Tulsi Gabbard have been run out of their parties as traitors — there can be no room for disagreement when policies are connected by a single righteous principle.”
~The Deseret
But do you love your country enough to serve?
I often wonder what goes through people’s minds when a president or candidate asks them to serve, especially if they’re not from their party.
With RFK Jr. and Tulsi switching sides, I think they might believe they need to be inside the game to make the big changes they talk about, even if the candidate or environment is unsavory, which is something Kennedy hasn’t managed to do from the outside.
While this might give them a better shot at actually achieving their goals, I still question whether those changes will actually happen under Trump, given his
inconsistencies and my general distrust of his promises.
“Every hateful word, every dehumanizing smear, every note of mockery and contempt, every denunciation and condemnation that we put into the public square feeds the powers that would manipulate us into war, genocide, and fascism. And so, politicians and media set the example of hate for us to follow. It isn’t even deliberate — that’s the thing. It is just the way things are done. I don’t mean here to set up politicians and media as the new evil. “Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do.” But that is what they do. They divide us. They teach us to hate each other.
Don’t fall for it. That’s my request. Don’t fall for it. Instead, enter the political sphere with the questions that come from compassion and lead to love. That is the only revolution worth having.”
~Charles Eisenstein
My concerns from the republican side
I’m worried about the Republican party's stance on women’s rights, especially when it comes to contraception and early pregnancy choices. I’m not interested in turning back the clock, except to restore integrity, respect, and civil discourse.
I’m super concerned about Trump’s narcissism, which clouds his judgment and makes it hard for him to prioritize others, affecting ALL his decisions. I just can’t trust him. Like many politicians, he often openly contradicts himself, making him seem quite opportunistic.
My concerns from the democratic side
Drag and drop candidate
First, I can’t get past my issues with the democratic party enough to even have much of an opinion about Harris. I have a problem with having Kamala “installed” as a candidate into the highest office of the land that we didn’t vote her into.
Maybe others don’t care because she may be our first female South Asian black president that so many of us are excited about. But ultimately, it’s about the job she does.
A couple of questions about Kamala
Someone chose Kamala for us, but who, and why? Was it about her being basically the only one who could legally and easily access Biden’s war chest worth tens of billions of dollars…or something else?
And why is she barely doing any interviews? I thought she’d hit the ground running with excitement to let people know who she is but so far, it’s been underwhelming from where I sit. It almost feels like she’s hiding out and playing it safe.
The questions are endless, and it’s all perplexing. If you’re not asking some of these questions, I wonder why?
Other concerning issues
I’m most concerned with the issues of medical freedom, endless wars, the military industrial complex creeping into local police stations and our neighborhoods, and free speech/censorship from the Democratic side.
As I’ve mentioned before, free speech with minimal censorship is crucial for a functioning society where all voices are heard so we can work our differences out in the open. This is why it’s the First Amendment—none of the other amendments matter much without it.
If I want free speech, I have to allow it for everyone, even those I disagree with and am afraid of; anything else is hypocritical.
Certainly not ALL speech should be allowed, but there’s a very fine line to walk and we should always err on the side of freedom.
As for international issues and immigration, I’m caught between the stance of both parties, and neither side feels right to me. I’ve always been a this AND that girl in so many ways.
Free thinker
Anyone who knows me knows I’m an independent thinker who doesn’t fit into molds, though people often try to label me for their own comfort.
People get really uncomfortable when they can’t clearly pigeonhole our politics in the same way that many are uncomfortable when they come upon someone of an ambiguous gender. It’s not as much a judgment against that person, as it is merely the discomfort of not being clear on how to relate.
First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a socialist.Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a trade unionist.Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.
From Wikipedia:
"First they came ..." is the poetic form of a 1946 post-war confessional prose by the German Lutheran pastor Martin Niemöller (1892–1984). It is about the silence of German intellectuals and clergy—including, by his own admission, Niemöller himself—following the Nazis' rise to power and subsequent incremental purging of their chosen targets, group after group.
Neither endorsement would thrill me
Do I like the idea of Kennedy suggesting that people should endorse Trump? Absolutely not because Trump scares me with his erraticness etc. Truthfully, I’d feel bad if he endorsed Kamala too, but for entirely different reasons that scare me too. At least she’s more calm and not as arrogant and bombastic.
What to do?
Fear on BOTH sides of the fence
We are ALL afraid, but we usually don’t like to see it that way and call it something like anger which actually has fear as its base.
I know that most of us are really worried about what might happen if “they” get into office this time. I am too because I’m concerned about varying issues when either of the sides gets elected. My concern for the issues merely changes based upon which candidate actually gets elected.
So, what do we do?
If you feel conflicted like I do, I know it can be hard to vote this election season when neither party fully represents us, but staying home isn't an option, at least for me.
How do we navigate the more dangerous complexities of the issues while voting for parties that don’t fully represent our views and maybe even kind of scare us?
For me, voting for either one of them feels like I’m voting against my own well-being and the future of our country and it sucks!
“The left-right binary spectrum we use to understand American politics presumes that politics is about one thing, but the reality is that politics is about many things.”
~The Deseret
As a spiritual, not religious, woman, my first go-to is to work my fear from the inside because we can’t change those people whose opinions we fear, no matter how much we don’t like it.
I guess the best we can do is get clear on the largest key issues that are most important to us trying to vote for the party that carries the most weight on those issues.
Who knows?
The truth is that I still have time to get clearer and work with my fear. Who knows what could possibly happen in the next 2 months?
Look at what’s happened within weeks during this election cycle: the Biden-Trump debate debacle, Biden drops out, Trump gets shot, Kamala gets installed. Another Trump assassination attempt.
Who knows what the next chapter will hold before the election? It’s a page-turner for the history books to be sure.
Trust and surrender
A while back while in Costa Rica, I learned how important it is to trust and surrender. When I’m in fear, I’m not trusting, and I’m usually trying to control which is a futile effort with other humans and truly only possible with myself…and not even that sometimes.
So, I’m going to try my best to work on my fear weeding out my internal garden, trust and surrender while also staying aware of what’s going on so I can make my best decision.
All for naught?
The truth is that I live in a state that will definitely go to Trump so how I vote doesn’t really matter much here, if it ever really did because I question everything anymore. I do this writing exercise for my own conscience and to let you know that you’re not alone if you’re in the same space.
These are uncertain times to be sure. Please hold space for me…and for all of us.
And as always, I reserve the right to change my mind about anything I’ve said.
If free speech is a concern for you as well, you might want to check out The Fire. Their mission is to defend and sustain the individual rights of all Americans to free speech and free thought — the most essential qualities of liberty.
Questions for community
(Please be respectful or your comments will be deleted)
How do you feel about this election?
Do you have any conflicts as whom to vote for? If so, how do you decide what the best way to vote is?
I’m glad this showed up in my inbox this morning, Alecia! I was looking forward to the rest of the story. I know some other folks who have been fans of Robert Kennedy, Junior, who are having an internal struggle now. I’m no fan, but I am sorry to see this decision overshadow any good work he’s done in his life.
Thank you for this blog! I have been using the language of the upside down world recently as it's the closest saying I have found to how I feel about things in the now. It is almost eerie how closely aligned I am with this post. I was considering writing something very similar, but hadn't got past the fear. I applaud your courage in speaking clearly from your heart and with balance, consideration and truth.
I especially resonated with the issues you are grappling with from both sides. From censorship, to medical freedom, women's rights, Trump's narcissism on steroids to the "installation" of Kamala, I could not agree more.
For the dems, I would add the following:
-Seeming misuse not only of our great nations institutions to "lean" on companies to guide the narrative they want in reporting, but it also appears they are using the justice system for politics.
-Increasing give-aways via debt. This one is a concern for both parties as no one seems to be talking about our historically high debt and spending. I get more concerned with the left though as all I have seen of Kamala's plan is almost ALL giveaways. The numbers around this are scary. Social security is on track to be insolvent in 9 years! The percent revenue paid to interest is already near half and growing. This is not sustainable.
-Handling of the border and immigrants more widely. I have concerns from both sides on this, but like above, more with the left. I'm for immigration, I just think we need to know who is coming and make clearer and more efficient legal pathways.
-Cancel culture and sheer smugness: I start moving away from any group that claims freedom, but cancels anyone who doesn't agree or that says things like "any reasonable person" will vote this way, or you are a terrible, horrible human if you don't see it this way or everyone not voting this way is xyz (insert favorite derogatory name here from racist to dumb to anti-American). I also loose interest when people start saying things like our entire country, foundation and systems are inherently racist. These all or nothing perspectives take things to far and create more issues than they solve IMHO.
For the right-
- With the hate already. NO THANK YOU. Like Aretha Franklin said R-E-S-P-E-C-T goes a long way. Actually, that last part is for both, but as a general rule, the right is definitely worse. The attacks, crass language and exaggerations are toxic and unhelpful. I do think this is a bigger issue with Trump himself than the party as a whole, but the party also likes to represent aspects of this plenty.
-Like above, the smugness and arrogance is a big turn off.
-The religious far right concerns me at times, but I think the average American keeps this pretty well in check with our collective agreement around the founding principle to keep church and state separate.
Standing above all of this though is a larger concern that we are allowing ourselves to be so sidetracked by our differences and mislead by misrepresentations, lies, narratives, propaganda and ideologies that aren't tested against actual facts and real life outcomes.